Wedding etiquette is changing all the time—and one woman was shocked when she realized that she had overlooked a newer rule.
A video posted to TikTok by Vanessa Taylor (@vanessa_taylor1) has gone viral after the woman shared her panic; she realized two hours into her drive to a wedding that she had accidentally packed a red dress. Since the clip was posted on September 27, it has received over 464,000 likes and over 2,800 comments from confused users.
“How do I explain this one?” Taylor captioned the video. Newsweek spoke to New York City wedding planner and owner of Lee Ramsay Events, Lee Ramsay, about the red dress debacle and when the rule emerged.
Nadtochiy/Getty Images
Traditionally, wearing red to a wedding has been frowned upon in some Western cultures due to the color’s boldness, Ramsay said; it could potentially distract from the bride.
In some cultures, red can even symbolize bad luck or conflict, making it an especially sensitive choice for guests. “It’s almost the equivalent of saying ‘I object’ at the altar,” Ramsay said.
Taylor, the poster, heard that wearing red to a wedding means you have been intimate with the groom. She revealed this realization in the comments, but not everyone knew this.
“Wait, what’s wrong with wearing a red dress to a wedding?” one person wrote. “I’m so confused, I thought as long as it’s not white, or close to white, then it should be OK.”
As modern weddings evolve and embrace diversity, though, so too have the rules surrounding guest attire. Ramsay said it is context-dependent and constantly changing.
“In today’s fashion-forward landscape, rigid etiquette rules are evolving. Some cultures associate red with prosperity, love and good fortune,” Ramsay said. “For instance, wearing bright red to a Chinese wedding is considered a compliment.”
To ease the debate, Ramsay said wedding guests should always check the wedding’s dress code, or any attire mood boards made by the couple, to ensure their outfit aligns with the event’s vision. If there is no guidance or mood board, there is no harm in asking the couple or their planner directly, Ramsay added.
Ultimately, he said he believes the key to wedding guest attire is balancing personal taste with respect for the couple’s wishes.
“Red dresses, along with other potentially attention-grabbing outfits, should be considered in the context of the wedding,” Ramsay said. “Ask yourself: Am I going to draw attention away from the celebrants? Sensitivity and thoughtfulness are essential for guests.”
Newsweek reached out to @vanessa_taylor1 for comment via TikTok.
