Donald Trump’s Madison Square Garden fascist festival was an orgasmic fun zone for the racists, misogynists, naifs, and dolts who gorged on the raw MAGA meat. But one noteworthy remark, uttered seemingly off the cuff by their Fuehrer, probably sailed over the heads.
While heaping praise on one of his puppets — House Speaker Mike Johnson, who had predictably trekked to New York to kiss butt — Trump played a little verbal peekaboo: “I think with our little secret we are gonna do really well with the House, right? Our little secret is having a big impact, he and I have a secret, we will tell you what it is when the race is over.”
That’s not to be confused with The Beatles’ “Do You Want to Know a Secret?”
No, Trump was referencing one of the facets of his fascist game plan.
If he loses the race to Kamala Harris, which is quite a distinct possibility, Plan B is to seize control anyway. His bright idea is to create sufficient chaos in a sufficient number of lost swing states — by preventing certification of Harris’ win, by sowing doubts about the vote tallies via disinformation, by doing whatever it takes — thereby throwing the election to the House of Representatives. Where a Republican majority led by Mike Johnson would rig the deal for Trump on House certification day — Jan. 6, 2025.
Rest assured, if Trump can’t win in November, he’ll try for a coup in January. Sound familiar? Because it’s a well-established fact that fascists believe in the sanctity of elections only if they win, and that rigging elections to ensure victory is de rigueur. This particular fascist need only model the electoral behavior of his alpha dog in Moscow.
And Johnson, with God allegedly at his side, is jonesing to help. Back when he was a back-bencher in 2020, he echoed Trump’s baseless “fraud” claims. This time around, Johnson has refused to unequivocally state that he will accept the 2024 results if Trump loses. And he says we already have “fraud” in 2024 because lots of undocumented immigrants are supposedly casting ballots.
Earlier this year Johnson went on TV to float that lie. When he was asked to provide factual evidence, he made a fool of himself: “We all know, intuitively, that a lot of illegals are voting in federal elections. But it’s not easily provable. We don’t have that number.”
What we really do know, more than “intuitively,” is that unless Harris wins this election in a landslide, the fascist will yank Johnson’s strings in January. And the puppet would be fine with that. After Trump uttered his “little secret” remark at the MSG rally, Johnson released a statement: “By definition, a secret is not to be shared — and I don’t intend to share this one.”
But this best-laid plan could go astray, for one big reason.
The Jan. 6 certification will be conducted by the new House of Representatives, which is seated on Jan. 3. The new House members will have been elected in November. And the new House may well feature a Democratic majority. For Trump, that would be game over.
In other words, for all the attention being paid to Harris-Trump, the House races are hugely important. Republicans have an exceedingly thin majority — 220 seats to the Democrats’ 212 (with three vacancies, two of which are in safe blue districts) — and it won’t take a blue wave to turn the chamber. Indeed, five vulnerable Republicans are clinging to suburban swing districts in New York alone. With only a week left on the electoral clock, donors with money still in their pockets would be wise to focus on the House.
But even if the Dems take back the House in November, Johnson could conceivably make mischief anyway — by, among other things, refusing to swear in new blue House members on Jan. 3, thus refusing to cede the speakership. As Liz Cheney said on “Meet the Press” a few weeks ago, “I do not have faith that Mike Johnson will fulfill his constitutional obligations.”
So buckle up, folks. Although — tongue in cheek — there’s actually an easy way to thwart the fascists this time. Joe Biden will still be president when the next Jan. 6 arrives. If the MAGAts try to overthrow a Harris victory, Biden can simply order the roundup of all the conspirators who are threatening our democracy. That would be an “official act” as defined by the U.S. Supreme Court, remember?
Dick Polman’s column is distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.