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“It was painful to consider the possibility that these accusations against him were true,” Lison recalled. I had lots of photos at his concerts on my Instagram account, I deleted them all”
MUSIC – “Even those I thought I could trust… It challenges my faith in humanity »sighs Léonore*. She refers to Nekfeu, her favorite artist, accused of sexual and psychological violence by his ex-partner. Accusations denied by the rapper, but which hurt the thirty-year-old, an early fan of his music.
A feeling of betrayal that she is not the only one to have experienced. Since the #MeToo movement, many people have chosen to clean up their playlists, depending on accusations or convictions. Painful bereavements, sometimes synonymous with rupture for fans who must deconstruct years of idealization of artists. Three of them testified for HuffPost.
Between denial and discomfort
“I spent my adolescence listening to Lomepal, says Lison*. Older than me, long hair, lyrics a little rap, a little poetic… With my friends, we were huge fans, but also a little in love with this guy who was a little tortured, a little cute. » To the point that the year they turned 17, they spent a summer going to festivals and concerts to see him on stage as many times as possible.
“We had this slightly cliché but super pure love of teenage girls for their favorite stars,” says the young woman, 24 years old today. So, a few years later, when she first heard about the accusations of sexual assault and rape against her favorite singer, she refused to believe it and continued to listen to his music.
“I believe in the presumption of innocence, and I clung to the justifications that he himself had given sighs the student. I told myself that if he had done something, he hadn’t done it on purpose. » A posture that she maintains for a year, oscillating between denial and discomfort while thinking of her favorite artist.
An emotional bond that leads to refusal
This wholesale refusal of accusations is a frequent mechanism. Bérénice Hamidi, professor of theater studies and honorary member of the Institut Universitaire de France, explains it for HuffPost : “These are phenomena that are not specific to the world of music, explains the specialist in cultural representations, who has worked in the performing arts, cinema and music sectors. Most gender-based and sexual violence is committed by people the victims know and love. They take place in the sphere of those close to us, and the aggressors are also overwhelmingly people we know and love. »
For both artists and loved ones, this emotional bond can create a refusal. “A fan who refuses to see that an artist he adores has committed violence, a parent who refuses to see it in his child… lists the researcher. It’s a kind of faith: despite the material evidence, there is this tendency to believe the accused, because it is too unbearable. We refuse to integrate violence into the image we have of this person. »
“I deleted my Instagram posts at his concerts”
When Mediapart reveals a third complaint for rape against Lomepal, Lison can no longer maintain his posture. “It has been painful to consider the possibility that these accusations against him are true, she remembers. I had lots of photos at his concerts on my Instagram account, I deleted them all. While waiting for a court decision, I find it difficult to completely stop listening to his music – there are still one or two songs of his that mean a lot to me. But I listen to them with a lump in my stomach. »
In cases where the accusations are followed by a conviction or confession by the accused, the absence of doubt can make things easier. This is the experience that Kevin, who has long been a fan of the English rock group Kasabian, had. “In 2020, while I was performing concerts with the group, Kasabian excluded the singer, Tom Meighan, for confessed violence towards his ex-fiancée,” he says.
Since that day, he has no longer been able to listen to the group he was such a fan of. “When a song from them comes on in my playlists, I feel the need to move on to the next songs. » Especially since, while he has a lot of respect for the group’s decision to exclude him, he admits that “musically, what they offer is no longer the same without it and I like it less”. A breakup that he seems to experience with serenity: according to him, “It is up to each fan to sort things out and deconstruct the “ideal” side of each artist.”
A feeling of betrayal
This is perhaps easier said than done, especially when the case is still ongoing, the accused denies the facts and he seemed, in his texts, to hold values that touch us. “Nekfeu has mainly raised rather left-wing questions in his texts, defends LGBTQIA+, minorities, positions himself with the yellow vests… All these things have contributed to making him my most listened to artist but also a character that I identify as “healthy”, confides Léonore. He also took a position on issues of violence against women, I felt in agreement with his values”.
When she learns of the accusations of domestic violence against her, she falls from a height. The thirty-year-old, committed to the feminist cause, feels in difficulty: “I have to constantly do real work to not be complacent towards this artist that I really like, just under the pretext that I like him a lot. » She keeps her convictions as her compass. “ It is up to justice to do its job and me, as a feminist, to do my part. » And, in the future, she confides that she will be a little more wary, with regret, of “beautiful words”.
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