Who would you put your money on in a race: the fastest man on earth, one of football’s greatest athletes, or a surprisingly speedy bird?
Credit: Shutterstock, Stefan Constantin 22
Who would you put your money on in a race: the fastest man on earth, one of football’s greatest athletes, or a surprisingly speedy bird?
The race between Usain Bolt, Cristiano Ronaldo, and an ostrich might not be as predictable as you think, or it might just be.
YouTube channel Vividat have put this idea to the test. Readers beware, as far as bizarre news goes, this tops the charts.
Cristiano Ronaldo swapped his football boots for a pair of running shoes and hit the virtual tracks for the ultimate race against Usain Bolt and an ostrich.
Who would win?
Would it be a career-defining moment for the mercurial Portuguese footballing beast?
Would CR7 finally hang up his boots if he lost?
These were all questions that no one was asking, but we still got the answers.
Although Ronaldo has seen a steady decline in his performances over the last four years, his speed and athletic prowess remain formidable assets on the football field. Let’s explore how, even with age and changing dynamics, Ronaldo continues to leverage his remarkable physical abilities to impact the beautiful game and his new AI-simulated side hustle as an ostrich-racer.
Analysing the Three Racers Side by Side
It’s not just about who’s the fastest but how speed translates differently in football versus sprinting. Ronaldo’s evolving game has been a talking point for years. Despite the recent decline in his performances, he has always been a master at exploiting his strengths to their fullest potential; whether it’s his athleticism, taking penalties, last-minute goals, or his game-changing speed earlier in his career, Ronaldo has continually evolved.
Ronaldo’s explosive speed on the football pitch, reaching speeds of up to 21.5 mph (34.6 km/h), is very different from the 100m race sprinting that Usain Bolt is used to. It is also very different to how an ostrich would run in the wild. Ronaldo has always used short-burst sprints and direction changes to evade defenders, set up lightning-fast counterattacks and create goal-scoring opportunities. Usain Bolt, in comparison, has become a specialist and legend in the art of straight-line sprinting for short distances. While the mighty ostrich is a fireball of breakneck speed able to thrash through gravelly surfaces thanks to only having two toes on each of its feet. By contrast, Ronaldo and Bolt have regular, boring feet with five toes per foot. Yawn.
Preparation for the Race
The AI version of Ronaldo did not train for this race; he was just thrown in there, to be fair, so not much should be read into it.
The real Cristiano Ronaldo has regularly incorporated high-intensity interval training (HIIT) and plyometric exercises to maintain his top-tier agility and speed throughout his career. These workouts, which include box jumps, lateral bounds, and agility ladder drills, are designed to improve his reaction time, footwork, and the rapid acceleration that leaves defenders behind. He has also maintained a notoriously strict Mediterranean diet, with lots of fresh meat, fish, eggs, brown rice, fruit, vegetables, and salads. In stark contrast, Bolt has admitted to enjoying fast food, especially chicken nuggets, famously saying he ate around 1,000 chicken nuggets during the Beijing Olympics in 2008. However, neither of the human racers is known for eating insects, sand, or pebbles, which ostriches regularly do. While this might not be the secret to the ostrich’s success, anything’s possible.
In the virtual AI-simulated race, Cristiano Ronaldo is 6’2″ (1.87 metres) height and 13 stone 5 (187 pounds, 85 kg) weight played a crucial role in his performance. His balanced and muscular build, tailored for football agility and quick bursts of speed, struggled against Usain Bolt’s towering 6’5″ (1.95 metres) and 14 stone 11 (207 pounds, 94 kg) frame, which is perfectly optimised for pure sprinting mayhem. Adding an interesting twist to the race, the ostrich, with its staggering 9 feet (2.7 metres) in height and weight of up to 20 stone 10 (290 pounds, 130 kg), brought a whole new dimension with its massive size and mighty legs, setting the stage for an unexpected showdown between human and nature.
Would Ronaldo’s grilled fish give him the edge?
Would Usain Bolt’s 1000 chicken nugget diet batter his rivals?
Or would eating sand and pebbles be the deciding factor for the mighty ostrich? The internet was waiting. The moment had arrived. Man VS Beast. Hair gel and chicken nuggets VS 60 million years of evolution.
The Start of the Race
The gun blasted.
Explosion out of the blocks.
The three sprinters burst off the line, and chaos ensued. The two-toed crusader bolted past the Bolt and CR7, effortlessly outpacing them with savage speed.
The flash of feathers streaked forward, immediately putting distance between itself, the legendary Bolt, and the determined Ronaldo. It was clear from the start that this animal meant business. It wasn’t just running; it was a feathered freight train blasting through at a raw speed that made Bolt’s famed start look almost pedestrian. Ronaldo and Bolt were out of their depths. This was a speed that Bolt may have reached at 5000 chicken nuggets, but not 1000. One thousand chicken nugget speed was child’s play in comparison to this.
The Final Results
The ostrich, leveraging its natural sprinting ability, blazed through the 100m in 7.3 seconds, securing first place. Bolt, running at his record pace of 9.58 seconds, took second. Ronaldo, with his football speed not quite matching up to pure sprinters, finished third at 11.22 seconds.
Analysis of the Race Results and What It Means for Ronaldo’s Career:
Ronaldo’s performance, while admirable, shows the difference between sprinting on a track and using speed on the football pitch, where his agility and explosive starts are key but don’t directly compare with sprint-specific training. His football-centric speed excels in contexts that demand quick direction changes, tactical positioning, and stamina. While he may not top the charts in a 100m dash, his athleticism is perfectly suited for football, where being the fastest over 100m isn’t the ultimate goal.
A Question for Readers:
Could Bolt’s legendary sprint translate into another sport, or is Ronaldo’s versatile quickness the more adaptable form of speed?
Ostriches are serious animals. Euro Weekly News encourages all readers to call Biopark Fuengirola if they spot a wild ostrich around the Costa del Sol. Do not approach it, and do not attempt to race it.
